Today, I am going to tell you two stories. Ask Emmy
One where I totally fucked it up.
One where I totally nailed it.
Let’s start with the epic fail, or as I like to call it: The Doritos story.
Matt and I were invited to a graduation party, and we were asked to bring a bag of Doritos. I picked up the Doritos, put them in the passenger seat, and went to pick up Matt. I forget things! So, yes, I put it there on purpose. So I wouldn’t forget it. Because I forget things…ok, you get it.
I pick up Matt, he grabs the bag of Doritos, and…..puts it in the trunk. I ask him if he can not put it in the trunk, because I will forget it, because, well, I forget things 🙂 He assures me he will remember them. I said, ok, cool. But I actually wasn’t cool. I was making a mental note that I’d test him to see if he actually remembered, and if he did not, I was going to shame him. And to make matters worse, I also had a girlfriend in the back of my car.
We get to the party, and guess what? Matt forgets the Doritos. So as we were walking to the party, I made the deliberate and outward gesture of returning to the car, opening the trunk and announcing in front of my friend and my man, “Oh, so you are going to remember the Doritos, huh?”
Ufff – what a BI move on my part.
Matt looked at me and quietly walked into the party.
I felt horrible. We went about the day, went to the party, and the next day we went to the park for a picnic, and I went up to him. This was my moment to address my Doritos fail from the day prior. So I walked up to him and said:
“Honey, about yesterday, I am sorry! I was being an ass, and I’m sorry.”
He said, “thank you,” and guess what – that was the END of the conversation. No need to continue the saga.
Ok, so now let’s focus on the time I got it right!
Matt loves Squirt, and we always have it in the refrigerator. Well, Matt had a leftover cup of Squirt sitting on top of the refrigerator. That was on Friday night. On Saturday morning, I like to make us breakfast. So, I come out to the kitchen, open the refrigerator, and you already know what happens next. The soda spills everywhere, making a sticky mess. Everywhere. Matt was in our bedroom, and even though my instinct was to get super pissed off, and be like what’s wrong with you? Why is would you leave soda uncovered like that?
Instead, I reframed it and I chose to go another route. I went to go find him in our master bathroom and I was like, “Hey honey, I’m so sorry but I spilled your leftover soda in the fridge. He instantly replied: oh no! I am so sorry, I should not have left it there! Let me go clean it up because you are busy preparing breakfast for us (which I so appreciate). And that was it. He came out, cleaned it up, and we had an AMAZING day. This could have turned into a fight, us bickering, but the reframe ensured it did not.
Ladies, think about how we can reframe the potentially bad into the good! It’s possible, and I hope this example helps you believe it, too.